What is the biggest fear many CD'ers have? Being out in public and running into someone they know who has NO idea about their Femme Self. Or, in other words, being caught. I have been Out And About for a few years now and have managed to avoid this experience -- until recently. Not only did it happen to me - it happened TWICE in 2 weeks.
First Experience - Thrift Shopping. I was brousing the dresses at Value Village. The aisles are rather narrow, so when there's a shopping cart in the way it gets tight. When there's TWO carts, you cannot pass. Well, there was one, and as I approached that end of the aisle, another cart entered. Passage was blocked - not that it mattered, I was still brousing dresses. But the woman with the second cart addressed me with a smile. "If you need to get by, just let me know and I'll move." I looked up and realized that I know this woman. Judging from her reactions I do not think she recognized me, so I thanked her, turned on my heel and started re-brousing the dresses in the other direction. Thinking back, the last time this woman saw my Drab Self, I was 20 pounds heavier and was wearing glasses. (not to mention the fact that, without a wig, I have VERY little hair) So there's every possibility that she did NOT make the connection. I moved on with my life.
Second Experience - Grocery Shopping. I needed some half and half, so I went to my favorite grocer - WinCo. It was very crowded, and when I made my way to the front I saw the checkout lines were long - especially the self check out. Literally 15 people in line for the 6 stands. Since I was not in a hurry, I got in line. At that point a man approached me, looking like he was going to get in line behind me. As he stepped up he said, "Is THIS the line for self check? Why is it so long?" And THAT is when I recognized him - he was wearing one of those "turtleneck style masks". I simply nodded yes. He then went on to chat me up - "Do you think it's because today is the first of the month?""You only have 1 item, seems like a long wait for that" Nothing about his demeanor or chat said "HEY - you're a guy I know and you're dressed like a woman" I used my best "Julie Voice" and told him he was right, it was not worth the wait, turned on my heel and went down a nearby aisle. Looking back, he is ANOTHER one whom I have not seen since my weight loss and cataract surgery (I'm trying not to mention the Hair Thing again) so it is possible he didn't make the connection.
In both instances, I'd like to think my transformation is SO convincing that neither person had a clue. But I will never know. I recently had a new CD friend cancel our first face to face meeting because she was afraid of being recognized while we were at brunch. I understood, but NOW I have a better understanding of her fear. Will this stop Julie from getting out? I seriously doubt it. But maybe I won't be quite as bold as I have been - which is a step backwards. (sigh)
Stay Safe And Pretty, Sweeties
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